1998-2002 I was going to church in Augusta, GA (a “black” church half of that time [Ebenezer], and a “white” church the other half [Augusta First]…gotta love those color coded churches). There was so much corruption in the Ebenezer church that it was really hard to get anything out of it spiritually. Augusta First was more fun, because they had things for me to do, yet the people were somewhat disconnected. It didn’t really feel like family or even people that honestly cared. 2002-2005 was the tiny & old church in Aiken, full of nothing but old people. No youth. No creativity in trying to reach anybody (or passion). However, lots of pew warming traditionalists (and some who don’t, but still have the same effect anyway).

2005 until I came to SAU, I was going to another “black” church in Columbia. It was such a welcome change from sitting in the pews and singing hymns with people who weren’t even feeling what they were singing about (for the most part). However,  the services were often to the other extreme of getting too hype when there should be solemnness. Also, the people didn’t feel like family, though they smiled a lot, greeted a lot, and did all those nice things, the love of Christ was often absent.

Leaving the churches around school out (because I church hopped my entire history of being here in TN), the last church I’ve been to was the Present Truth church (it’s in Augusta…and due to some issues they changed their name to the Everlasting Gospel Church). First of all, the whole Present Truth movement is sort of an off-shoot of the Adventist Church (they still claim to be Adventists), that takes things really seriously, and is really focused on getting the core message of Adventism out (which I applaud, because many of these churches are not taking anything seriously). However, it feels more like school than church (and school is more fun!), since all we do is sit and listen to a couple people speak for hours and hours. Then we have what’s meant to be a potluck (I won’t crack on the meal too hard, but just because you’re vegan doesn’t mean your food has to be nasty/dry). Then they go across the street to a nursing home, and sermonize in there to old sick people who probably aren’t grasping much, if any of it. After that, we go back to the church and listen to more sermonizing. All the way until 8 pm. (and sometimes, they even have the nerve to have a business meeting after that…) There’s much more issues I had with the church but I’ll stop there.

How is acting like you’re the only one who’s going to be saved, or that you’re the only one who understands doctrine truthfully going to help anybody? Where’s the love? Jesus loved and worked with people before he tried to teach them anything…how else would they listen? So not sure I agree with the whole idea they have…positive that I disagree with their approach. If I stayed there any longer than I did, I probably would left the church. I’m already struggling with faith as it is these days.

I’m still going to go to church, despite the fact that it has done little for my spiritual experience in the grand scheme of things, I relish the idea of church, even if only my social needs are being met. I am going to get more involved (not that I haven’t been in the past), but being more proactive always helps a situation and changes your view on it as well. The state of the church these days is sad, but we’ve got to actually do something about it rather than talk about all the problems it is/has causing us (which can only have any worth if followed by action).

I have run out of the steam that was needed to write this piece, so I’m going to stop here.

http://www.playlist.com/playlist/19710394123

Otherwise, here’s the written out list…(organized in no particular order than regular transitional flow)

1-The Crisis – Ennio Morricone (it plays at the close of the movie “Seven Pounds” and has stuck with me since…)

2-Royksopp Forever – Royksopp (It’s John Williams meets Stephen Barry…epic)

3-Dance – Newsboys (heard this live in January)

4-Live Life Loud – Hawk Nelson (thank you Jeff Meyers for this album)

5-Break Me Down – Tenth Avenue North (saw them live in January also)

6-With His Love/Sing Holy – David Phelps (old favorite from the radio that reared its awesome head)

7-Just Wanna Say – Israel Houghton (People are still sleeping on this guy…this is the ANTHEM)

8-Spark – Ten Shekel Shirt (yet another anthem that kept me motivated)

9-City On Our Knees – TobyMac (fresh)

10-The Adventure – Angels & Airwaves (I don’t always agree with their work, but this is passion to the max)

11-21 Guns – Green Day (not a fan of this band at all, but this. is. that. heat.)

12-True Faith – Anberlin (Anberlin rotates so much on the ipod…I could put anything here by them, though this is the most relevant to what I was experiencing)

13-Tidal Wave – Owl City w/Matt Theissen of Relient K (Yes, Fireflies was the jam, but this had much more meaning and staying power after I got the album)

14-God In Me – MaryMary w/Kierra Sheard (Great song. Lame video for it, but still one of the best cuts they’ve had.)

15-Higher -Karen Clark-Sheard, J. Moss, and J. Drew “JDS” Sheard (Finally got a hold of this unreleased track from Karen and J Moss…why this hasnt made an album I’ll never know…vintage stuff!)

16-No Santa – YPJ & Flesh Versus Christ (this song displays everything that I like about this group: Fresh vocals, creativity, and ability to cover subjects in Christianity most people shy away from. Also, a good sense of humor!)

17-I Am – Mary J. Blige (her new album was very disappointing, but not without a gem)

18-Summer Tongues – Anchor & Braille (I’m an Anberlin fan of course, so yes I would get the lead singer’s solo project…probably the sweetest romantic song I’ve ever heard.)

19-Lentil- Sia (I think she’s from Australia? anyway…very organic and soulful…heard it working at Publix last year, and it’s still been rolling)

20-Annie – Mat Kearney (Despite Greg Laswell being the new Mat Kearney, that doesn’t take anything away from the brilliance of “City of Black and White”)

21-Angela with Purple Bamboo – Bob James (This still isn’t getting old…it’s not too recent, but the whole Memoirs of a Geisha take on jazz is sleek)

22-This is the End/If You Want It – Relient K (this is really one song split into 2 tracks…”Forget and Not Slow Down” is like something Relient K wouldn’t do, which is why it’s so much better than anything they’ve done before…)

23-Stranger In Moscow – Michael Jackson (This has the feel of like a Keane track or something, at least lyrically…the late night walking song…)

24-So Long Lonesome – Explosions In The Sky (pure lush, instrumental melodies…been playing this a lot since spring)

25-You Only Live Twice – Ian Rich Orchestra (classical cover of the James Bond theme in a grand fashion)

26-Everybody Knows – John Legend (He always puts out a decent song every once in a while…this one was on repeat on all those car rides to and from SAU)

27-All The Right Moves – OneRepublic (I feel like I wrote this song by now…so relatable…everybody can’t feel this one…)

28-Marquee – Greg Laswell (soft romantic song…probably how I’m going to feel if I ever do get into a relationship)

29-Love of an Orchestra – Noah and the Whale (classical folk! look this up on youtube…there’s a sweet video for it)

30-Teach Me – Kierra Sheard (pretty much describes my relationship with God currently)

31-I’m Not Who I Was – Brandon Heath (Heath is like almost Mat Kearney, but not as good…close, though…)

32-Good – Karen Clark-Sheard (I hope I’m not the only one who thinks “All In One” might be the best Gospel album to come out this year…)

33-Climbed Mountain – Uyama Hiroto (Japanese artsy jazz trip hop amazing music that this guy made in collaboration with Nujabes)

34-Atoll Moao – Nujabes (This basicially gave birth to Uyama and the other artzy music like this cioming out of Japan…one of favorite producers hands down…he passed away in February…)

35-For You – Coldplay (Between my own listening, and Publix Radio, I heard Viva La Vida so many times I couldn’t bump it this year…started playing their B-Sides and found this piece)

36-My Hands – Leona Lewis (Despite the awful album cover, this was a solid album)

37-A New Jam – Tommy Sims w/Shannon Sanders (Tommy Sims is one of the best producers of all time. OF ALL TIME!! Google the guy. He put out a solo project that I just got onto. Very soulful, definitely has that old school vibe…)

38-One Afternoon We Mapped The World – Joy Williams (Haven’t heard from her since 2005…apparently she’s doing more of a singer songwriter thing these days than the straight CCM route. I’m not hating it.)

39-Don’t Waste Your Life – Lecrae w/Cam & Dwayne Trumf (Not heavy into Christian Rap, but this is guy one of the best.)

40-Praise You Forever – Marvin Sapp (Not a huge fan of his live albums, but this rocks! Literally. Way to switch the style up. In fact, it smacks of Coldplay’s “Clocks” quite a bit while staying original.)

41-Mistakes – Marvin Winans Jr. (I fully understand how this got slept on since his album was weak, but what a passionate testimony…)

42-No More – J. Moss (So “Just James” didn’t cover any new ground with J, but hey, maybe that’s what we all like about him. This is that heat for the streets…assuming those streets are Christian lol.)

43-Take My Hand – Shawn McDonald (So whoever missed it when this guy gave a concert on our campus should slap themselves, because it was a true blessing. Been bumping this since…)

44-Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime – The Korgis (Is this a love song or an anthem for change? I’d like to think the latter. Gotta love the 80s.)

45-Whatever It Takes – Michael Buble w/Ron Sexsmith -yes that’s his real name- (Buble! They even play this guy at KRs on campus, so you can’t hate…or maybe you can…anyway…Crazy Love was/is one of the most solid albums to come out this year. Just ask your mom.)

46-It’s A Shame – OneRepublic (apparently this was one of the band’s first demos. Who wouldn’t get signed on this? It’s on the deluxe edition of “Waking Up”.)

47-Photograph – Astrud Gilberto (I know this is way before my time, and in a language I don’t understand, but it’s what I was humming all Christmas break-so there!)

48-Comes and Goes In Waves – Greg Laswell (A fairly motivational song that still looks on the rough side of things…instant classic…shout out to Jeff Meyers again for this one.)

49-Transatlanticism – Death Cab For Cutie (I know this is a 2003 cut, but I’ve never been a fan of this band, and I’m still not a fan. However, the introspection in this track that takes 8 minutes to culminate is definitely worth it, and on par with some of Coldplay’s stuff even.

50-The Frame – Oceansize (Another one of those iffy bands with super long tracks…this one is 10 minutes long. Mostly instrumental, but with lyrics of introspection and rebuilding.)

51-I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight – U2 (I almost forgot about this one…but it always gets me hype…I’ve barely gotten into U2, but I’d say this song is a good enough reason. “Is it true that perfect love drives out all fear?” Yes, Bono. It definitely does.)

“Musically, our goal is not to split atoms or break new ground. There are plenty of people to do that. Being that I’m also a youth pastor, the music is the plate the meat is served on. So when we’re figuring out what we’re going to say, we’re trying to create a musical atmosphere that doesn’t detract from the message. I think there are plenty of great lyrics out there, but the song draws so much attention to itself that the message gets lost.” -- Mark Hall of Casting Crowns

So at least now I know they know they’re only focusing on the lyrics. The first album was solid. Second one was pretty good…Third one was more of the same…Until The World Hears is about 4 times too much. Don’t get me wrong, there are several song I like from this band, and all of them are very rich with a spiritual message…but the sound wears thin very easily. If go to your first album and it sounds exactly like your 4th…that’s kind of a problem. I’m just saying this from a musical standpoint and as a lover of the tool God gave us to glorify Him…it’s okay to be creative. Why does everyone seem to think if we sing to the Lord a new song, we’re overdoing it, or people aren’t going to get the message, and God won’t be pleased? (That’s an entirely different blog, so I’ll save it.) I do applaud them for making ministry their focus though…I hate it when Christian artists think watering down their message will get the secular world to come to Christ. So, two points for them, but at the same time…I hope my roommate bumps some of these other records I’ve got instead of Lifesong!

One of the better ones of off the last record:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfNS0nxHXhc

As I look across the space and time I have been given

Everything I am has been

Crafted with precision

Twenty years ago I was only just a fetus, a vision

A mere idea of life to be given

And ever since then, the first moment of breathing

God has always been the only One I have believed in

There were too many letdowns and setbacks

Self being one of them

I couldn’t ever trust that

Waiting on the music to solve my problems

As far as I knew, I couldn’t solve them

The same hoar who would hoard up guilt

Put his feelings to the death

Now he’s being rebuilt

And he’s scared to the hilt

What on earth could this mean?

This could change everything!

Full surrender from broken and tender

Pieces of a heart that just needed to be rendered

And how could You love me?

You wouldn’t even put Your Son above me

And I never loved You…not really

I would sing all the hymns as melodies, simply

Running through my life always thinking that I was free

Tasting brick wall and concrete

Yeah, that was me

Now I’m broken at Your feet

Waiting on Your presence to wash over me…

Ever get the feeling that something isn’t right?

Got a hole in your soul that needs light?

Then chances are, you probably need a new life.

Only a mere memory remains

Of what I thought I wanted

What I sought to be gained

I know all the physics and diameters

Making all these half-hearted attempts seem amateur

As I look down from lofty…mountain…grandeur

Past memories to which I pander

Wondering if this life is great as Alexander

Gander. A simile. Look at what it means to me.

To build empires, conquer the world

To have your name on the lips of every boy and girl

To reach status, the prestige of the best league

Recognition at the best peak most weeks

The unprecedented roam around your comfort zone

Relax, the kick back, and assorted other anthrax

You little terrorist

Sitting high on your terrace, but in mind bear this…

Everything is nothing

The cars and the sights, the lights they mean nothing

Awards and recognition

The posts by statisticians

The word-of-mouth begging out for everyone to listen

Yeah…that’s what we want isn’t it?

They said you wouldn’t fit in

So you make your own niche

We’re beautiful and dirty rich

Or rich enough

To live our own lives, get our own stuff

I had a dream I was the rich young ruler

I came to Jesus, asked Him what I need to be saved…

He said, “Son you won’t like this, you might want to fight this,

Fact is your flesh needs to go to the grave.”

Here I am having suicidal thoughts and thinking back on everything that was but now is not

Reaching out for acceptance and love from you people

Walking through the steeple, feeling oh so lethal

And now we reach the close of the film

Life scenes spread out

The main theme spelled out

My picture of God was more than distorted

Religiously contorted

I’m com-fort-ted that

The Lord has faith in Stephen

Without ever or even me giving Him a reason

He hands me my pen, says “Be patient

And never stop taking notes on your revelation”.

So new semester! I changed my major for the fifth time in two years and now I’m doing Pastoral Care. I guess the thing about that is I really want to do counsleing, but I don’t want to be jobless after 4 years of college for a Pysch degree. Plus I want/need to do something in ministry, so here we go. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Not sure if I missed my calling or found it, but that’s where we are.

SNOW! Well, I got to see a little bit of snow last week, and it was fun while it lasted. They even canceled school on Friday (for no reason, seeings that we couldn’t even measure the snowfall in inches, and the roads weren’t very icy at all).

Music/Poetryish things! It’s coming. Means a lot to me, and I hope it mean a lot to others as well. You get out what you put in, so I’ve already started recording as of 2 days ago.

That’s all for now folks…more writing later…